Dear Lee,

Thank you for the story about the father telling his child not to use profanity. One of the books for the Ministry of Pastoral Care class at Wake Forest is called "Mighty Stories, Dangerous Rituals" and it was a great help to me in understanding how stories inform our actions and beliefs.

In that vein, I share "my story" of the father telling his children not to use profanity, and hope that it is as enlightening as your version,

Your sister in Christ,
Margaret Leinbach

A Father tells all his children never to use profanity. "Why?" asks an inquisitive daughter. "Because it is a poor and often hurtful way of communicating," says her Father. "All the commandments I give you are to help you love me, love yourself, and love all your brothers and sisters. When you use profanity, you are not acting, speaking in a loving way.  So by refraining from profane speech, you have to figure out why you are angry, what is causing you to want to speak so.  Then go and talk with me, or whoever else is the source of your anger and try to reconcile.  At least, be clear with them, and yourself, over what you are upset about and try to change it, rather than just cursing. Cursing is not loving."

Now, not all of the Father's children needed to know the reason for his commandment not to use profanity. For them it was enough that the Father had forbidden its use. They loved and respected their Father and not using profanity was a chief way they could honor their Father, and show their obedience. It therefore became important for them to know what was profanity and what was not. They gleaned from their Father's actions and sayings Six Words that were profane. Thus, they never used these Six Profane Words, even when the words could be said in contexts that were not profane. They found or created other words that could be used instead of the Six Profane Words--similar to the Rabbis who "would build a fence around Torah" so as not to accidentally break one of the Father's commandments. These children called themselves the "we-obey-Father's rules-children." 

When their brothers and sisters used the Six Profane Words in contexts that were not meant to be curses or express anger, the 'we-obey-Father's rules-children" reacted angrily. "You are dishonoring our Father by using a profane word! Stop at once!" Still other times, because the "we-obey-Father's rules-children" were so vigilant in keeping the Six Words completely unspoken, they misheard, or misinterpreted what other children actually said. For when one is listening intently for the Six Profane Words, it can be hard to hear what another child is really saying. 

In their anger over hearing (or thinking they had heard) some of the Six Profane Words, the "we-obey-Father's rules" cursed the offending children. Of course, they did so without using any of the Six Profane Words. 

MARGARET K. LEINBACH